COLUMNIST and trained counsellor Fiona Caine answers another set of reader dilemmas.

I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF MY HUSBAND AND HIS MUM

My husband has an alcohol issue, he can’t control his intake and sometimes he doesn’t come home or answer calls or messages when he’s out. We’ve fought about this many times, and I’ve been sick to my stomach with anxiety.

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I’ve tried talking to his mother. But she downplays the issue, saying he’s not an alcoholic - even though his dad was, which was why his parents split. Somehow, she’s ended up fighting with me and turning the situation on me.

FIONA SAYS: PERHAPS SEEK SOME SUPPORT

Your mother-in-law has lived with an alcoholic, so you’d expect her to be understanding, but she’s obviously finding it impossible to believe that her son could go the same way as her ex-husband.

I’d encourage you to join Al-Anon (al-anonuk.org.uk), the group for families and friends of alcoholics. Al-Anon has over 700 groups throughout the UK and Eire, where you will find support and acceptance from others who truly understand your experiences.

Whether you want to continue that relationship and continue to support him though, is very much up to you. Your mother-in-law is a different issue though. She uses her position against you in order to manipulate your husband, and that relationship certainly sounds unhealthy.

SHOULD I TELL MY FRIEND’S BROTHER I FANCY HIM?

I really fancy my friend’s older brother. He’s 19 but, as I’m 16 and her friend, he doesn’t seem to notice me. I’ve known him for about two years and although I’ve tried to let him know that I like him, I’ve just learned he’s planning to go to Australia as soon as he can do so.

He’s planning on staying there for at least a year, maybe longer - so do you think I should do something before he goes? I don’t think I could cope with not telling him how I feel and never seeing him again.

FIONA SAYS: COULD IT BE BETTER TO WAIT?

It hurts feeling serious about someone who doesn’t even seem to know you’re around. It may be that he’s aware you’re attracted to him, but he probably thinks of you in the same way as he thinks of his ‘little sister’.

Making a move now, before he leaves, could end up seeing you getting hurt, whichever way it goes.

It might be better to wait until he returns, when he’s more likely to see you as a young woman rather than a young girl.

Email help@askfiona.net for advice.